Jan 8, 2009

WITCHDOKTORS "$3 Hooker" CD

This is a hard cd to review. And it’s hard to review because it doesn’t suck, yet it really offers nothing new at all either. If you’re looking for the shovel of ground breaking music, this release from the Witchdoktors most certainly is not it. But, at the same time, that by no means indicates it’s bad in the slightest.
Hell no, it’s mighty friggin enjoyable.
Picture the Ramones, the Clash, Green Day and the Reverend Horton Heat all going to the same batshit crazy orgy. Aside from any sex they have with each other, everyone in attendance has sex with one medium-hot-in-a-failed-actress-kind-of-way girl, that we’ll call “Heather”. This is not a real girl mind you, this is a wholly-fictional girl named Heather. In any case, she wanted to live on the edge and do the whole night without condoms and she ends up pregnant with quintuplets, and one dies shortly after it’s third birthday. Similar to the origins of The Partridge Family, the four remaining children go on to form a pretty cool, old-school sounding punk band with a rockabilly streak and a random surf riff. And a lead singer that sounds like a young Joe Strummer using the voice of a Mescaleros-era Joe Strummer. Before he died, that is.
If that orgy actually had happened, and Heather got pregnant, then the band that sprung from that litter is London, U.K’s The Witchdoktors. They sound exactly like Heather’s bastard punkabilly children would having been concocted by that mix of fluids. It’s clear where they came from, it’s clear they wouldn’t be here if those bands hadn’t ridden Heather bloody like the $3.00 hooker she is. Except they’re not really siblings, I don’t think. I never bothered to look into it.
Speaking of a $3 Hooker, that’s the name of the CD. They named it after Heather, the completely fictional woman mentioned above. It won’t strike you as original, even if your greatest exposure to music comes from playing Guitar Hero. It will strike you as really friggin fun. The kinda fun that makes you buy their CD so that you can drunkenly take some leftover fun home with you after accidentally catching them playing a show somewhere.
Danko Ramone spews all kinda stuff at his own blog, www.BusterGetMyPills.com

1 comment:

carson said...

"Picture the Ramones, the Clash, Green Day and the Reverend Horton Heat all going to the same batshit crazy orgy"

not only does that sound like an orgy where they play shitty music. its sounds like a super gay orgy where they are playing shitty music.